One of the best questions you can ask to develop yourself as a leader is how to improve your communication skills every day.
So that when the heat’s really on in a job interview, or an important presentation, you’re leaning on effective habits.
But who ever taught us how to communicate?
Here are five everyday challenges to set yourself to make sure you develop your leadership skills every single day.
Challenge #1: did I get to the point in the first seven seconds?
Check the last email you sent.
How many words did it take you to articulate the point?
If it’s more than 26 words, consider a new approach.
Research suggests audiences switch off after seven seconds when reading information on a screen, if they fail to see a benefit to them reading on.
That’s 26 words at the average reading rate.
Fewer for non-native speakers.
A quick look at my inbox shows the following email introductions, reduced to the first 26 words:
“Hello Andrew, my name is Ben, and I specialise in securing funding for companies across a broad range of sectors. Established in 2020 and built on…”
“For a change, would Pink Elephant Communications like to send out some real postal letters during the month of July or August? We can do this…”
“Hi Andrew, you must have received at least five lead-generation, or appointment-setting emails today. The easiest approach to filtering them is to request case studies, client…”
Delete, delete, block.
If you’re sending emails outside of your organisation, make sure you summarise the benefit early on.
Sending them internally, make it clear at the beginning what the email’s about, at the very least.
And as soon as the information starts becoming irrelevant, stop – that can wait.
Challenge #2: did I sound like I wanted to be there?
Ever watched a video of yourself back and thought:
“Who the heck is that speaking?”
When we speak in everyday conversation, we hear our voice through our skull, so it gets easily distorted.
When we hear ourselves played back, that’s how our voice is received by others.
Part of the distortion is the enthusiasm we believe we’re showing.
Playback often reveals it was less enthusiastic than we wanted.
I include myself in that. I’ve felt underwhelmed in the past at how I sound in training sessions.
The voice in our head plays tricks on us when we’re in the moment, telling us to calm down.
So I decided to change things and imagine that the room I was in was full of people, aged from two to 92, and my job is to interest them all.
That means a louder volume, slower pace and increased enthusiasm.
Always ask yourself: “could I have given more?”
And really push yourself.
You’re only getting close when it sounds ridiculous to the voice in your head.
And it’s another tick on the checklist of how to improve your communication skills.
Challenge #3: did I look like I wanted to be there?
“Unapproachable with a severe face”.
I’ll always remember it.
That was the feedback given to an Operations Manager I worked with at Edinburgh Airport.
He’d asked a plain-clothed security guard to observe him undercover, and then offer feedback on how he came across in the workplace.
The reply, he said, shocked him, but inspired him to become more approachable (and less severe).
In a face-to-face conversation, that starts with eye contact.
Aim for at least three-quarters in a one-to-one setting (social etiquette dictates we look away every now and then to avoid embarrassment).
Next, consider your facial expression.
Is it a positive conversation? Then smile, for goodness’ sake! Drawing a smiling emoji in front of you can help, particularly if you feel nervous.
Is it more sombre? Then wipe that smile off. Make sure you react appropriately, so your body language is in tune with the message and the setting.
Finally, consider your hands.
Crossing your arms is a comfortable way to sit, but it looks closed and defensive.
Hands in the pockets stop them from crossing, but you can look unprofessional.
Clasp them together and place them on the table in front of you, and open them up when speaking to help demonstrate your point.
Oh, and avoid clicking that darned pen – pencils only if you need something to hold.
Challenge 4: did I motivate my audience to act?
Eurgh, presentations, eh?
Many feel nervous, even sick, at the prospect of standing up and speaking in front of an audience.
Others see it as an opportunity.
And simple techniques can help you move from one to the other, over time.
Practice is the best cure.
Inserting words like “excited” and “delighted” at the start of the presentation can also change your physiological reaction.
Ultimately, the success of a presentation should be judged at three stages:
First, work on making your core message so simple to understand that a child would get it.
Second, persuade your audience by summarising the benefits to them.
And thirdly, arm them with the information to make a decision.
We’re used to doing this in an everyday setting:
“Do you want me to take the dog out so you can relax?”
To us that means:
“I could do with half an hour to get some headspace and listen to a podcast.”
But the simple language, plus a clear expression of audience benefit, makes it more likely to happen.
Challenge #5: did I say all the things I wanted to say?
The more tempting question to ask is: did I get the job?
The reality is that’s outwith your control.
They may prefer another candidate’s experience, personality or wage demands.
What you can control is the flow of the conversation.
If you’ve ever left a job interview feeling that the right questions weren’t asked, you need an A List and B List.
Quite simply, the A List refers to all the things you want to say about yourself.
Your years of experience.
That particularly relevant project you’ve worked on.
The fact you’ve followed the company on social media since you’ve graduated.
Bring this list in with you, so you can glance down and remember what you’ve prepared (it’s unlikely just to come to you in the moment).
Now turn your attention to a B List.
What would your worst critic ask?
Why did you leave that job after three months?
You don’t seem to have any management experience?
How come you failed Maths?
Write down their questions and figure out your answers.
And if they come up, you can bridge B to A.
That’s a surefire way of making sure you make all your points, regardless of the questions.
See here for more information on handling the job interview with aplomb.
We all pick up bad communication habits along the way.
Take the first step by dropping the bad ones today and setting yourself these five challenges.
By building these new habits, they are what will really make the difference when the heat’s on.
So you can continue to improve your communication skills every day.
And remember to acknowledge when you’re getting it right.
Andrew McFarlan runs Pink Elephant Communications.
Read more about him here.
All photos in How to improve your communication skills blog by Pink Elephant.
How to improve your communication skills blog written by Andrew McFarlan.
How to improve your communication skills blog edited by Colin Stone.
3rd August 2023 Featured in: Blog, Communication skills training blogs By: Pink Elephant
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